She Had
by RenEmma
Summary: His only mistake. Dark
1. Chapter 1:She Had

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN INUYASHA AND CO., NOR DO I MAKE ANY MONEY FROM THIS**

Warning it will not leave a warm fuzzy feeling.

She Had

She had died alone.

Cast aside by those she loved. Those she had ventured to help. Those she had offered acceptance. Those who could not overcome themselves denied her.

She had loved unconditionally. She had brought salvation to the world, but most especially to the two sons of Inu no Taisho.

It was those two sons that saw her as weakness. When told to leave, she had left with a small smile. It was obvious that she did not blame, did not hate, and only forgave.

She had died alone.

Trapped in a world that did not understand her, could not appreciate her, she died alone.

Too late had the stoic tai-youkai recognized his mistake... his only mistake. For her, he should have burned heaven, hell, and earth but arrogance blinded him. Her body had remained cold too long for the compassion of his father's sword.

He had carried that burden. At times, he had pondered if it would have been less if absolution had not been something she had already freely given him.

Sesshoumaru stood now at the base of a giant stone staircase. For centuries, he had carried her ash. Honor demanded he lay her to rest in the care of her family. He faced a mother's tears, a brother's hate, and grandfather's scornful glare with indifference.

She had died alone. She had given her love fully to the world. She had accepted its disdain with forgiveness.

She should have known happiness. She should have known love.

The boughs of the Goshinboku hung heavy with prayers.

"Next time, the world will know your true smile, this Sesshoumaru vows it."

She had died alone and redemption was a hard path to walk when one had already been forgiven.

END

AN: I know, but for some reason it had to be said.


	2. Chapter 2:Her Smile

Her smile had been there today.

He had seen it on another that could never compare to her. But in truth, her smile was always there, haunting his quiet moments, chasing away any solace that he might have found.

The eyes that he had always doubted possible for humans as they danced with her inner light had became more common as the centuries passed. However, the sapphires he saw were never the gateways to _her _soul. His only mistake would weigh him down until the end of time.

Her smile had been there today.

He mused that the reason why he had not found her yet was because the Kami themselves decided to honor one so pure with a place forever within heaven. His dreams told him that this was to be true. She would come in his weakened moments telling him to rest, to join her.

Her smile had been there today.

He could not _and_ would never take the easy path. When she blessed this plane with her presence, he would be there. He would be here to guard and protect. One so pure deserved a protector.

And he, as one so darkened by greed, deserved the punishment of watching her find her happiness in another.

Her smile had been there today.

The moments of solace that he found within this flashes of memories resolved him to his vigilant path. He resisted the siren's call to join her. He had found the course he must travel to be worthy of her forgiveness.

Her smile had been there today.

The great Sesshoumaru closed his amber orbs to welcome her as she came to beckon him to her once again.

Her smile had been there today, and he would find it again tomorrow.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*

AN: Somtimes this one still haunts me.

emmaren


	3. Chapter 3: It Wasn't

It Wasn't

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

The first time Sesshoumaru had heard that phrase it came from lips of his brother. The hanyou stared into the amber glow of the blazing funeral prier. Their only chance at salvation was slowly turning to ash.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Inuyasha had turned his back on her when she refused to offer anything more than friendship. He had turned her out of the village when he realized that the miko longed for his brother. Never once did the hanyou realize that it was his own inability to see her that caused the obsidian haired woman to look to another.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

The pristine tai-youkai saw only weakness in the woman who had been displaced by time. He had already unburdened himself of the adoring ward to venture in his solitary life. A power threshold had been reached, but, yet another was already in his sights.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Centuries had passed. Yet, time never allowed the memories to fade. Her face as he sent away his half-brother's left-over's. The cold feel of her clammy skin shrouded in death. The insanity that over took his hanyou sibling. The time that Rin saw him as a being that was _not_ infallible.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Sesshoumaru should have died in the age of the sword. He should have never been forced to endure an age that thought him nothing more than fable to be told by eccentric old men. He should have never had to put his brother down like a rabid dog.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Kagome… Kagome should never have fallen into the past, but she did. Her heart should have been cherished, but it was not. She should have been a beacon of light. All should have defended her, but _he _did not.

It wasn't supposed to be this way, but it was.

Countless centuries lay ahead, and all he longed for was to hear her voice once more. The great Sesshoumaru longed for the one that he could call home. Maybe, if she had not come back, he would have been able to accept her love in her time.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*

AN: I don't think this one has a happy ending.

emmaren


End file.
